Regret
by charmedfreakygirl
Summary: Piper's daughter sruggles with thoughts of suicide
1. Default Chapter

Regret  
  
Pt. 1  
  
As I look over at my family, I don't seem to fit in the picture Why don't I belong? Why don't I fit in?  
  
As I look at my family I see that they are so happy without me. I should just leave them, Maybe they would be a lot happier without me.  
  
As my mother calls me I can hear in her voice that she is mad at me. I probably did something wrong. I do everything wrong. I will never be as good a witch as my mom and aunts. I mean who can ever compare to the charmed ones, my mom could give me some slack. I never even asked to be a witch. Every time I say something about not wanting to be a witch my parents yell at me. They say I should be lucky to have my powers. I don't care if I have powers, I don't want them, I didn't ask for them. Sometimes I wish I wasn't even born. I wasn't even suppose to be born, my parents use to say that I was a miracle. But they don't say that any more, they just say what a pain I can be.  
  
"Melinda" I can hear my mom yell. I yell at her telling her that I'll be there in a second. But I'm not coming; I'm leaving, forever. I heard it would be painless. I have never even held a gun before. It's heavier than I thought it would be. I have thought this though over and over in my head. Dad isn't home and can't come home for a while; my two younger sisters aren't home so they won't have to see this. My mom and aunt Prue are calling me. I look at the gun on my bed and think that all my pain will be gone with the pull of the trigger. Once I'm "up there" I will see my aunt Phoebe, (they all say that I act like her) maybe she will understand me. I feel a little nervous as I pick up the gun, I look around to make sure everything is in place, I make sure I left the note were they can find it. They say that most people who kill themselves leave one, so I did. I really don't want to do it in the head; I think if my mother saw me with my head blown off it would be too much for her. I'm thinking too much about this, I have to do this quickly before I change my mind. I load the gun and put next to my right temple. I pull the trigger. Everything goes quite and I can hear my mom and aunt scream. I feel like I'm not in my body, I can see my room, I see my mother and aunt run to my lifeless body. They are screaming and crying. My mother is calling for my dad, but I know he can't hear her. I watch my mother as she holds my body crying, she has my blood all over her. I didn't think that she would cry this much. I feel something pulling me and I hear my name, someone is calling me. I don't want to leave, I'm sorry for what I did; please let me take it back. I'm sorry for what I did mom, please let me take it back, I'm so sorry mom. I feel myself leaving this world, the last thing I see is my dad orbing in. 


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2  
  
"Leo why did she so this, I thought She was happy." "I don't know why honey, but I do know that she is safe with your family." "Will they let us see her?" "Piper you know they won't allow that." "But Leo she was our daughter, our first child. I want to see her I can't stand to be with out her, I miss her so much." Piper was now crying her heart out; she couldn't understand why her daughter left her. (Knock on the door) "Mommy" a little head poked through Piper and Leo's bedroom. "Yes sweetie" trying to be strong for her younger daughter. "Mommy I miss Melinda." "I miss her too, Abby. Come here and give me a hug." "I want a hug too mommy." "Come here Jenny." An identical little 5-year-old came into the bedroom. "I want you guys to know that me and daddy love you very much." "We know mommy." "Mommy is Melinda coming home." "No honey, remember she is with Aunt Phoebe now."  
  
I watch them morn me and I realize that they did love me. I feel so bad for what I have done to my family. I wish that I could take it back. I hear Phoebe calling me, and I know that I have to go. I don't want too, I want to stay with my family. I just wish I could take back what I did to them.  
  
As I look over at my family, I try to see me in the picture Why did I leave? Why couldn't I have stayed?  
  
As I look at my family I see that they aren't so happy without me. I should just come back to them, Maybe they would be a lot happier with me.  
  
(This story takes place through Melinda's eyes. Melinda is Piper and Leo's daughter. They also have twin daughters, Abby and Jenny. I also had Phoebe dead instead of Prue.)  
  
Part 2 10 years later  
  
"Mom are you ok?" Ask 15-year-old Jenny. "Huh. oh yeah I was just thinking." Piper couldn't believe that it has been 10 years since her daughter died. She had tried not to cry to today but when she woke up she couldn't help it. She had sat in bed with Leo for almost an hour crying before even getting out of bed. Jenny and Abby have gotten use to this routine on this day every year. Piper and Leo would stay in their bedroom for an hour before getting up. Then they would eat a very quite breakfast, after that Aunt Prue and Paige would come over and we would go to Melinda's grave, it was next to Aunt Phoebe's. They have done this every year but two. One was when three years after Melinda died when Daniel was born, Prue's son. And the other was last year when Paige had gone into premature labor and almost died, but everything was ok and so was little Amy.  
  
"Mom are you ready to go?" Jenny said trying not to make her mom cry. She didn't understand why her older sister had killed herself. She could remember the day it happened, she was at her friend's house with her twin sister Abby. Her aunt Prue had come picked her and her sister up; she didn't understand why she couldn't go home. She just wanted to be with her mom. She didn't understand why her mommy and daddy were crying. Why were they crying? Where was her big sister? Why was everyone crying? She didn't fully understand what happened that day until a few years later. Abby had taken it much worse, she stop talking for 2 years after that. She started talked two years to the day of her sister's death. No one knows why. Piper didn't do anything for a month after what happened, she had stopped crying after the third day. She was a walking zombie. Leo was really worried about her she would eat or sleep, and when she did sleep she woke up crying and soaked in sweat from nightmares. Leo had a hard time with it also. He looked old and pale for a while. He was trying to be strong for his family but having a hard time with it. One day he just sat in Melinda's room and cried. Piper had kept Melinda's room the same, she allowed no one to go in or touch anything in there. "I think I'm ready to go." Piper said after a minute of silence. "Ok mom."  
  
Every day I watch my family. I watch them and she how much I hurt them. Every year on the day of my death I hope that I can she them, talk to them, something, anything. This is finally the year; I have waited for. The elders finally are letting me see my family. I get ready to go down and I look at my Aunt Phoebe and she smiles at me and says to give them her love. I will I say, and with that I feel myself being orbed to earth.  
  
It feels weird to be here in my room again, everything is the same. I look at my self and I see that I have a body. Wow it feels weird to be in a body. I walk out of my room to my parent's room. I see my mother looking out her window, her face is tear stained. "Mom" I say with my voice shaking She turns around and looks at me like she is dreaming. "Melinda. is.is that you." "Yes it me mom." She runs over to me and realizes that it's really me. "But you can't be here your dead." she hugs me so tight. "Oh you don't know how much I have waited for your hug mom. I miss you so much." I say through the tears. "I'm so sorry for what I did." "Shh. it's ok sweetie, you're here now and that's all that matters." "Piper who are you talking to.oh god is that. Melinda." "Daddy" I scream, "oh daddy I missed you so much, I don't ever want to hurt you again." I can't believe how much I have missed my parents. "Come on everyone will want to see you." Mom says with a huge smile on her face. "we have some new members in the family." "I can't or um I want to, but um I'm not allowed to see anyone but you two. I was sent here to tell you that I am sorry for what I did to you. I didn't mean to hurt you. I thought that you guys didn't love me or want me anymore. When I died I saw how much I hurt you guys, I never wanted to hurt you." I couldn't stop the tears from coming. Both of my parents were crying. "Oh Melinda after you died I felt that I did something to hurt you, I blamed everyone trying to find a reason why you did what you did." "Oh mom you could never do anything to hurt me you were the perfect mother and I was to blind to see that. I love you." "I love you too." We sat there for a couple of minutes till dad said something. "Melinda can I ask you something?" "What dad?" "Why did you do it, I mean what made you do it?" "I did it because I felt like I didn't belong anywhere. I had so much pain inside of me and I felt that if I did it, it would release all of the pain." "Did it?" "No, I think it caused more, watching you guys suffer over what I did made me feel even worse." "Hay, lets not talk about it any more ok, I just want to spend this time with you." I knew this time would come and I new I wouldn't be ready. It was time for me to go. "Mom dad it's time for me to leave." "I don't think that I can let go of you." "Mom please don't cry, know that I will always be with you." I gave them one big hug and looked at them both. "I love you." And with that I was gone.  
  
End 


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